Not very politically correct (but I don't think that'll bother any Russians out there!):
The geography of women:
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like Japan.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled, but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of men:
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like America - ruled by a dick.