На информационном ресурсе применяются рекомендательные технологии (информационные технологии предоставления информации на основе сбора, систематизации и анализа сведений, относящихся к предпочтениям пользователей сети "Интернет", находящихся на территории Российской Федерации)

English in Russia

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Extracts from G. Mikes (a tongue-in-cheek look at the English)

 

Foreigners write best about other countries as they see them as outsiders and pick up on the things that familiarity makes us blind to.  George Mikes, a Hungarian immigrant to the UK ages ago, wrote a couple of books about how we do things - some of it's out-of-date these days but most of it rings true even now.

  I agree with him about English humour - there's a joke that the reason we have a sense of humour is because it substitutes for our lack of social skills. ;) 

 

In England, everything is the other way round:

 

  • On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided - the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase "Lovely day, isn't it?" at least two hundred times a day, you are considered a bit dull.

 

  • On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit - some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt. On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

 

  • Continental people are sensitive and touchy; the English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour - they are only offended if you tell them they have no sense of humour.

 

  • People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth either.

 

  • When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles - but never England.

 

  •  Many continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

 

  • Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

 

The English always ask “how are you?” to which you must always answer “fine thanks!” regardless of whether you are alive and kicking or on your deathbed.  Such a dialogue would be unforgivable:

 

He: "How are you?"

You: "General state of health fairly satisfactory. Slight insomnia and a rather bad corn on left foot. Blood pressure low, digestion slow but normal."

 

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